Raising Children

While my husband and I were out with our baby, we ran across someone who, despite the cues that we were giving, decided to make conversation about how children are such hard work, and that it’s better to have only one because it’s “easier.” Easier to be self-absorbed, I guess, because I personally don’t see any merit in having only one child. I came very close to telling the person that we were seriously thinking about baby number two, but decided that a quick escape was the preferable option.

I really love children, and my life has been considerably better since my daughter was born; I really don’t appreciate it when someone acts like I should feel otherwise. The part that really irks me is that this isn’t an isolated event, and that a lot of people think that children are a pain in the ass. What sort of generation are we going to raise if we have that sort of attitude?

I will never allow my children to be treated that way.

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6 thoughts on “Raising Children

  1. Some woman who recognized me from my son’s school introduced herself then asked if we were going to have any more kids or if we were done. My guess is that as a teacher she was hoping we’d pop out another student for her. But what pocesses an able bodied adult with all their faculties to think that’s an appropriate question? Good for you if you want one, want more or want none. Be yourself happy and don’t judge others.

    I had a teacher who developed a very rare genetic blood factor deficiency which basically fucks up her blood clotting mechanism. This was discovered during her 2nd pregnancy and she was rushed to the high risk unit with very little hope of survival for either her or her child. She ended up making it, as did her son but now she can’t have any more kids despite both her and her husband wanting more. You never know what the story is.

  2. Judging other people is a part of this handy thing called ‘discernment’: it’s what enables healthy and intelligent individuals to avoid interacting unnecessarily with psychotic train wrecks.

    Which means that, as we speak, you are being judged by anyone with a figurative IQ above room temperature. And they’re right to do so.

    So let’s take a look at what you said, shall we?

    You ask, “What pocesses[sic] an able bodied adult with all their faculties to think that’s an appropriate question?”

    The answer is, they’re not out of their bleeding mind. It’s a perfectly mundane question, and your grotesquely exaggerated offence to it, combined with the near-psychotic lateral inference that such a person must be a teacher ‘hoping you’d pop out another student’ indicates that you must have some pretty serious, deep-rooted issues pertaining to child bearing, parenting, or social interaction. I’d suggest therapy, but that would just screw you up more. Or maybe you’ve already seen a therapist, which would actually explain a lot.

    And then your point about the teacher who couldn’t have a second child: this is relevant . . . how?

    Oh wait. It’s not.

    Let’s recapitulate the original post, shall we? It contends that intimating to a parent that it’s somehow ‘easier’ to have only one child is offensive, by implying that children are a burden or some manner of stain upon an otherwise unblemished life. In other words, the point of the post was not to criticise people who only have one children (although such people are, barring extenuating circumstances, entirely deserving of such), but that treating children like some kind of plague is certain to come back and bite us when those kids grow up to hate us; that she intends to protect her children from people who would treat them that way.

    In short, the irrelevant corner-case you bring into the discussion is a highly reliable indicator that you are not the most stable pile of blocks in the toy bin.

    When a mother gets defensive of her children, having had their personhood impugned by idiotic individuals who dislike children, the appropriate response is not to try to find irrelevant exceptions to an imagined assertion; the appropriate response is, “Yes — people who treat children like a burden or a chore are out of their minds! Let us stop this menace to family structure and society at large!”

    But I had to spell that out to you, which means you won’t get it. Oh well.

  3. The story of the teacher with the blood clotting disorder should be very relevant to you since you seem to want more than one child and are very lucky to be able to do so. You wouldn’t want to be judged for not being able to have any more, such as is this teacher’s lot, and my point was that you never know what a person’s familial situation is, so just don’t judge anyone.

    Given that you’ve totally gone off the deep end in berating me, I’d say you have some pent up issues that needed venting. Glad I was able to help you with that.

  4. You may or may not have noticed, but I am not EM, I did not write that post, and I am not the one who has discussed wanting more than one child.

    I simply have no tolerance for idiocy and enjoy both fighting and reading this blog; you are giving me the chance to do both.

    It is incalculably disturbing, however, that you cannot seem to differentiate between “EM” and “Никто”–but if that is reflective of your reading comprehension, there is little surprise you made the comment you originally left.

    Put bluntly, however, you are defending the indefensible, and you are ascribing selfishness where none exists.

    Point out to me where, in the original blog post, EM said that there was something wrong with being incapable of having more than one child. Or point out where she said she was worried about HERSELF being judged–you can’t.

    Her entire fucking point was about CHILDREN being victimised by selfish twerps who treat them like a stain on parents’ lives.

    And MY point is that it is reasonable to judge people who do idiotic things, like treat children poorly or make idiotic comments on other people’s blogs without even comprehending the point of the posts on which they are commenting.

  5. I have enjoyed reading your illogical rambling diatribes but I have way more fun things to do than deal with a sociopath. Cheerio!

  6. This from someone who can’t tell person A from person B, and is also somewhat confused about the meaning of the term ‘sociopath’.

    Dunning-Kruger, eat your heart out.

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