Walk of Shame – Gertie’s New Blog for Better Sewing

Update 1/3/14:
Having this post pop up as one of the top hits for googling “Gertie” was not something that I expected to happen, and has, in fact, been an absolute nightmare. Gertie’s fans are incredibly rude, and cannot accept that not everyone in the world is required to like her. They frequently jump to comments like, “You’re a bully,” and “You suck,” without ever addressing the bulk of this post (the part where I outline that Gertie’s skills are limited, and that she fails to back up her own opinions).

Since Gertie’s fans are a terrible bunch, I am disabling comments on this post. The post itself is staying, and I continue to hold the opinions I expressed in it (more so, really, since I had no idea how awful Gertie’s fans were when I wrote it — like attracts like, as they say).

I’m not going to give any links, but if you’ve browsed sewing blogs then you know who I’m talking about. I hate Gertie. Part of me feels that it isn’t polite to hate someone whom I have never met, or had any sort of contact with, but then I remember how people treated me while I was homeless, and I think, “Fuck that!” I will hate whom I please. After experiencing first hand how disgusting and self-centered most people are, I know all to well that when someone looks and acts a certain way — that is what they are.

I hate everything about her. I hate her Bettie Page wannabe hairstyle, with those hideously short bangs that were probably stolen right out of Beetlejuice. I hate those thick-framed glasses that she wears, especially considering that her face isn’t strong or bold enough to pull them off, and is consequently smothered underneath them. I hate her tattoos, which are distracting, muddy, and tasteless at best. And yes, Gertie, I can see those bags under your eyes, and how forced your smile is — you aren’t hiding your low self-esteem from anyone, no matter how loud you try to make your appearance.

I think the most offensive thing about her is her book. Part of the title includes, “A modern guide to to couture-style sewing,” but the reviews on Amazon point out the poor fit of her garments, and the fact that seams that ought to line up don’t. That hardly counts as couture, and given the tutorials of hers that I’ve seen on her blog, I doubt that she even knows what couture is. As one reviewer put it, “The whole book is a bit too much of a Gertie worshiping fest.” This isn’t some dark age of information where two seconds of research couldn’t show someone who actually wanted to write a useful book how utterly incompetent they were and how useless their advice.

In addition to being a sloppy seamstress, she’s also a feminist — which is the mantle donned by every lazy and selfish, man-hating bitch ever to disgrace the planet. She wrote a post some time ago, titled, “Foundation Garments and Body Image,” in which she says,

” We currently worship the ideal of the perfect body obtained through diet and exercise, yet we still seem to be coming up short. Indeed, the decades since the 1960s (when traditional foundation garments fell out of favor) have been particularly bleak in terms of our relationship with food and exercise, seeing a massive rise in cases of eating disorders and poor body image in general. Is it possible that there’s a direct connection between this crisis and the fact that women have traded their girdles for the gym?”

But then she goes on to say, “But on the downside, any restrictive garment is just that: restrictive. And not being required to wear these garments on a daily basis has, arguably, improved our the quality of our lives in many other ways.”

Or, in other words, foundation garments are bad because they are bad; ‘restrictive’ is a feminist code word for “a man invented this and/or had something to do with it and thus I hate it because I hate men so much I’ll destroy other women just to make them unhappy”. I left a comment asking her to elaborate how the discontinued use of foundation garments has improved our society, especially after her own words are very good evidence of how it has hurt women, but I never received a reply (it’s been two years, so she’s had plenty of time to think of an answer). So I guess that trading in a corset for poor posture and back pain is its own reward, because men are evil.

Gertie is a reflection of everything that is wrong with modern society, and one can only hope that we don’t produce any more people like her.

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4 thoughts on “Walk of Shame – Gertie’s New Blog for Better Sewing

  1. Corsets are very much like shoes: they are comfortable if you have a high-quality one that fits perfectly, but otherwise it’s ouch! Personally, I have found that most costumers tend to cut corners and sacrifice quality for speed, so I wouldn’t base any general opinions off of costumes.

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