Keeping Busy

I’m the sort of person that needs to keep busy.

Back when I worked retail, this usually manifested itself in the way that I was always finding something to straighten, put away, or clean, and I kept the front of the store so organized that I was moved from being a cashier to a department head, where there were even more things to keep myself busy with — including the other departments. The managers loved me.

Unsurprisingly, I usually have several projects going on at once, on top of keeping the house and taking care of the baby. I also tend to finish the projects at around the same time. For some reason, I always decide to take a break. I think to myself, “I’ve been working so hard, I’m going to take a couple of days off.” Then, those couple of days turn into a couple of weeks, and I start to feel depressed because I’m not producing anything. The annoying thing about depression is that once it sets in, creativity and motivation become much harder to grasp, so the simple answer of “Just get up and make something!” is difficult to enact.

I have another round of projects on the horizon. I’ve spent the past week brainstorming and writing ideas down on my white board, and they are guaranteed to keep me busy for awhile. This time, I won’t take any breaks after I finish the last one; no vacations, no days off. I will immediately come up with a brand new list of projects, and start working on them. That way, I will spare myself from time wasted because of silly, nonsensical emotions.

When I keep myself busy, the house stays cleaner, and I take care of myself and my family better too. That’s just the sort of person I am.