Cutting Ties

In high school I was good friends with a certain girl. She was actually the main source of drama in my life during that time, but since I was young and naive, I didn’t put the pieces together until after graduation. We had decided to take an, “Introduction to University” class together as part of our first semester lineup, but halfway through the semester my friend dropped out. At that point, the peer mentor of that class told me that he was concerned for me because of my friendship with her — he cited his reasons, then left me to think about it. What he said validated how I had been feeling toward her, so I stopped talking to her.

A couple years later, she contacted me and expressed interest in becoming friends again. I gave her a chance to see if she had changed, realized that she hadn’t, but decided to keep her as a distant friend — mainly through Facebook. Ever since then, I’ve been watching her deteriorate even further, sort of like a horrible train wreck that I just couldn’t look away from.

Not too long ago, she started posting a lot of “self empowerment” type messages. In the last one that I read, she made a complete fabrication of what life had been like for her as a teenager, then said that the girls that she had been jealous of back then were now “running around trying to fix their broken lives,” and, “living on foodstamps and welfare.”

It made me feel rather offended. I knew that she was referring to me.

Yes, my life has been hard, but it is not broken — and it certainly does not exist for others to pass judgements on in order to make themselves feel more, “self empowered.”

I realized that it was time to hearken back to my college days, and quietly removed her from my Facebook friends list. There are some things that I just don’t need in my life.

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One thought on “Cutting Ties

  1. Reading this, I felt like I could have written this myself. These types of people are poison because they get under your skin when you know they shouldn’t, and make you question even your own attitudes toward them sometimes.

    I learned the hard way to stop giving “second” chances. My friend was broken herself and, like your friend, liked to put other people down in an attempt to raise herself up. I told her in the least aggressive way how I felt about her, I blocked her on Facebook, stopped hanging around her, and stopping discussing her with my mutual friends. It was a difficult transition at first, but it worked out. I’ve never been more drama free.

    It was hard at first, but the best solution is to truly cut ties with her. Good job on taking that step.

    – Meg

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