Once Upon A Time Kill Count

Men
1. Quinn, the wolf guy
2. Billy, formerly known as Gus the Mouse
3. The Huntsman
4. Prince Phillip
5. King Leopold
6. Stealthy the Dwarf
7. Pinocchio — turned into wood
8. Peter, Red Riding Hood’s boyfriend
9. Daniel, Regina’s boyfriend
10. Henry, Regina’s father
11. Lancelot
12. The Real Prince
13. Geppetto’s father (Stephen)
14. Jack
15. Zoso
16. Gaston
17. Hordor
18. Behemoth
19. Martin
20. A mob of male villagers
21. Countless Soldiers

Women
1. Prince Charming’s mother (Ruth)
2. The Siren of the Lake
3. Geppetto’s mother (Donna)
4. Anita
5. Milah
6. Myrna
7. Honora

This is everyone who has died according to the Once Upon a Time wiki; if it’s missing anyone, let me know. What you’ll immediately notice, however, is that there are three times as many dead male characters as female.

This sort of distribution between male and female casualties wouldn’t bother me if it were the sort of thing where all the men were out fighting while the women stayed where it was safe — then I could understand why so many male characters have died. However, Once Upon A Time has female characters going out to fight left and right — going up against ogres and waging wars aren’t exactly low risk occupations. It shows skinny little princesses beating up armed soldiers (Perhaps their training consists entirely of losing to feeble and unskilled women so the audience can collectively Mary-Sue by proxy while congratulating themselves on how empowered they are?), and the contrived disparity in kill count does nothing so much as show how much the writers hate men, and how incompetent and weak they seemingly believe men to be.

Once Upon A Time has been heralded as being “feminist” — which means is that it unrealistically portrays women as stronger and more masculine than the men themselves, while having taking every opportunity to denigrate every male who has the misfortune to be written into this sorry mess — all of the men are shown as being cowards, losers, or evil, and they drop dead like flies.

Oh, I am slain! Please, tell the writers that I hate them!

Meanwhile, the female characters engage in infidelity, rampant cowardice and irresponsibility, complete and utter idiocy, betrayal, and bestial brutality without even implied moral responsibility for their unerring failings. I guess the object lesson this show tries to teach is, “Women are better than men and should never be accountable for their actions ever” — which makes it a very feminist show, indeed.

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3 thoughts on “Once Upon A Time Kill Count

  1. Interesting take. I am only a few episodes in to season one and I am enjoying it for the entertainment and the interesting take on old stories. I will be watching with a new viewpoint now.

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