I’ve been doing Kundalini yoga almost every day for about a month now. In the beginning I could barely get through the warmups, and it was a disheartening reminder of the stress and malnutrition that I had gone through in the all-too-recent past. I didn’t used to be so weak. I used to be able to get through those warmups without any fatigue at all, and yet there I was panting and tired, calling it quits and knowing that my muscles were going to be feeling it for awhile. Quite honestly, it was far from being fulfilling.
Then, one day, I got through the warmups just fine and moved on through the main workout. I had expected to gradually get better, not to have a sudden leap forward. The change was wonderful, and was a huge boost to my mood.
My muscles, on the other hand, are still tight and achy. I’ve come to believe that stressful situations can become locked in a person’s body, and that the only way to move on emotionally is to get those muscles to relax physically. In my case, this continues to be a difficult goal to achieve. I’ve found that yoga will help stabilize me on the days that I feel especially volatile, and slowly but surely I’m beginning to handle my particular emotional triggers better. I still carry my traumas with me, but the burden is a bit easier to bear.
It’s going to take a lot to improve my flexibility, since it took a lot to lose it.
So, I continue on. It might be a long time before I can exercise without popping joints and aching muscles, but if there’s one thing I’ve proven it’s that I know how to persevere.