Vegan Bread

I hate vegans. I hate their fucking awful vegan bread. Of course, labeling this shit as “vegan” is probably the only way that the company could sell it, because vegans are the only group that hates food enough that they’d inflict that nastiness upon themselves. This bread does not mold, ever. I’ve had fabric grow mold, but not this bread. It will sit on the counter for six weeks with nary a spot, then taste the exact same as the day it was purchased with maybe a touch of staleness. Bread full of preservatives does not last this long.

Of course, the idea of vegan bread is ridiculous to begin with, since most bread is technically vegan (unless you don’t believe in consuming yeast, in which case, what are you doing drinking beer?). It’s like labeling peanut butter as gluten free, since as far as I know there aren’t any brands out there that like to add flour to that good ol’ peanuts and salt combo.

If I had a choice, I would burn this fucking awful bread, then tell the neighbors to quit giving it to us. Permanently. But alas, I am poor.

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