Walk of Shame

Repurposing Your Clothing

This delightful little tidbit made it here because it is painfully, excruciatingly, mediocre. I like to think the author, upon completing this blog post, sat down with a bottle of vodka and the hope of drowning out how bland her life is. Seriously, ouch.

Now, I know that we can’t *all* live homeless in a van and travel the country. After all, Walmart parking lots would be packed, and the police would never be able to harass everyone they found sleeping in their cars, and who would the landlords gouge for money? It’s a fact that the vast majority of people need to be normal. However, this post is wonderful illustration that if you’re normal, it’s much better to accept it, instead of pretending to be unique or different.

The challenge, as you can gather from the title, was to wear clothing items in ways that they weren’t intended to be worn. When I was a little kid I used to stuff my legs into the sleeves of shirts then wear my pants on my head, so I’m pretty familiar with this idea. Recently I re-purposed a regular t-shirt and wore it as a maternity shirt until I had the baby, after which it went back to being a regular t-shirt (sarcasm self-check passed). When it comes to making clothes versatile, I’m all over that shit.

So, on the first two days the author (technically) did re-purpose her clothes: she wore a skirt as a dress, and leggings as a turban. The fact that translocating a garment several inches upward is hardly the definition of “radical reinterpretation”, and the turban was ugly as sin, is beside the point. But then her creative enterprise completely falls apart when she puts on a pair of “skinny jeans” (also known as, “Those are not pants, please go back inside and try again.”) under a dress and calls it a tunic. Most people I know would call it, “Wearing pants under a dress,” and most of the girls that I’ve encountered would skip the pants altogether and call it, “Wearing a dress.” Either way, nobody would mistake her vestiary venture for a tunic without her assistance.

Thursday is the real kicker, since she took a belt and wore it as a belt. Wow! Who knew that belts had so many uses? I mean, wearing one as a belt . . . I would NEVER have thought of that on my own.

Then, either the author has an incredibly short definition of a week, or she ran out of “creativity” and figured that the challenge was satisfied after four days. Perhaps it’s better this way. If she manages to confound “reuse” and “repurpose” in a mere three days, I shudder to imagine what she would have done Sunday.

The “What I learned” section is an utter flop: meaningless, and unaware that it is so. I can’t decide between the blindness of all-consuming narcissism, and a dogged determination to garner page views, regardless of the cost in personal dignity.

Fashion is all well and dandy, but when it comes down to it, the general public is not going to notice if you wear the same skirt for four weeks in a row, and one would do well to remember that.