I have come to the conclusion that knitters have no fashion sense.
We all know the stereotype of the knitted Christmas sweater that’s tacky as all hell, and yet for some reason knitters keep producing chunky cable after chunky cable. Why? Can’t they sense the repulsion in others when they receive that godawful whatsit that is somehow supposed to be clothing?
The answer is no.
Knitters knit because it’s knitting. They don’t care about what they make, as long as they’re making something with knitting needles and yarn. They take it to the point of not being able to see what they’ve made — all they care about is what they had to do in order to make it. And that, folks, is the reason why cables are so rampant.
I’ve seen tasteful cables, and they are rare (so rare that I couldn’t even find an example to share). More often, I see crap like this. Anyone wearing a sweater that ugly has got to be a knitter or blind. Or, perhaps as implied in the pictures, a blind knitter.
Though honestly, I have no clue why they have to be so bulky. It’s possibly to create a unisex effect, lest anyone realize that there are tits underneath all of those cables (we certainly don’t want anything to distract the eye away from those glorious cables!)
The result is that anyone unfortunate enough to receive a gift from a knitter is very likely to end up with some hideous monstrosity that they feel compelled to burn while reading incantations for exorcism.