Athletic Shorts

I have become aware of another fashion trend among the college crowd: athletic shorts.

I suppose that the girls like to pretend that they’re in shape while showing off those legs. Never mind how flabby those thighs are, with all of that bouncing and jiggling over the top of something that might be muscle, if only you could get past the cellulite to find out. ATHLETIC SHORTS ARE IN!

It depresses me that my malnourished, hairy, and homeless legs have more definition than the average college student’s. Especially when they are trying so hard to appear physically fit.

I have nothing against athletic shorts . . . on athletes. Or even on the girls who are jogging down the side walk. But when a gaggle enters a restaurant, all wearing the same thing, stuffing their faces with pastries and over-sized portions, with nary the hint of a drop of sweat, I can’t help but scoff. The only person you’re fooling, sweetheart, is yourself.

So, let’s cut the crap, okay? Stop pretending to be something that you’re not.

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