The Homeless Wardrobe

The first time I was homeless, I became aware of the fact that basic, cotton skirts (preferably black) were an absolute essential. The closest thing that I had was my ritual skirt, which I put over the top of a white skirt in order to nullify the slits. Homelessness changes standards. Unfortunately, this time around I packed the ritual skirt into a box — I was not thinking. Or I was thinking, but it was more along the lines of, “Yay we’re leaving! Gotta pack  everything!” and the next thing you know every single essential item is stuck somewhere in a box.

And so, this time around, my homeless wardrobe is rather on the lacking side.

No matter what you’re thinking, I promise you that skirts are more practical than pants. In the middle of nowhere and need to pee? Just squat down, carefully arrange your skirt so that it’s out of the way and covering everything, and no one can tell that you’re not simply sitting there. Of course, I’m assuming that you aren’t wearing panties, considering that those can get in the way and make certain things more difficult. The only point I see in wearing panties is to either hold menstrual pads or cover your unmentionables while wearing short skirts.

Anyway, the skirt obviously needs to be long and full. A pencil skirt is not going to get you anywhere. A circle skirt will (and will also protect your legs from mosquitoes). The more basic it is, the longer that you can wear it without anyone noticing. The first time I was homeless, I wore the same clothes for six weeks straight, and nobody knew I was homeless. The same people were walking past me every day, and not one of them realized that I wasn’t changing outfits. It changed my world view.

But as I said before, due to my packing enthusiasm, this time around I don’t have anything practical. And thus I have the sewing itch. I have identified a NEED, and it NEEDS to be met. It won’t be long before I cave and set off to buy (preferably black) fabric and hand stitch the damn thing. The only reason why I haven’t done so already is that the current circumstances are bound to produce a less than ideal result, and I am not yet desperate enough to risk wasting perfectly good fabric.

I also packed away our raincoats.


2 thoughts on “The Homeless Wardrobe

  1. Still am homeless. Right now I qualify as the type of hippie who drives around the country living out of a van, though I’m getting tired of it.

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